2010!
Song of the day: John Mayer's "Who Says"
That's what Nathan and I have been chanting lately. Anytime we make a good decision, such as choosing to eat some chicken with veggies instead of ordering a pizza, we say, "2010!" We want to make small and big changes this year. It's not about making resolutions but jump starting things that we've been meaning to do for much too long.
For me, I feel as though I've let a lot of life pass me by because I'm afraid of what others think. I want to experience life this year. I don't want to just sit around saying that I would love to try this and that. I want to just get up and do it. I want to be more intimate with my loved ones. I want to be able to know the changes they're going through. I was just thinking the other day, it's odd how when you're growing up as kids you always know everything about your best friends, such as their favorite color, food, drink, t.v. show, song, movie, etc. As you get older, and your friends move to different parts of the country [and world] you stop caring to find out those things. Maybe it's not that you stop caring, so much as it's not readily available to you anymore and you don't think to ask. That's the case for me. I want to always desire to learn about my loved ones. If anything were to happen to any of them, I want to be able to tell others what their current likes and dislikes were. I want to be able to say that I truly knew them, every little detail.
Another big thing that I've been wanting to do is start using the sewing machine that Nathan got me a month or so ago. All my life, I've admired others that handmade things (i.e. pillowcases, dolls, blankets, wallets, etc.). Now that I have Kaia, there are SO many things that I want to make for her. I want to make her little pillowcase dresses. I want to sew together a quilt with some of her clothes. I want to make her some durable bibs since she goes through them so quickly, and there aren't any out there that we've come across that truly keeps her dry. I want to be able to mend all the clothes that Nathan tears through. It's odd how he manages to tear his clothing in ways that baffle me. One time, he came home with this huge, raggedy tear in his Aloha shirt. All that could come out of my mouth was, "What do you do at work?! Wrestle a tiger or something???" So yes, it'd be nice to be able to salvage the endless pile of damaged clothing sitting in our closet. I'm sure I'll fail horribly at first, but I'm prepared for that. I want to learn how to be more resourceful for my family. I want to be able to repair clothing instead of buying new ones. I want to be able to make things for Kaia instead of always having to purchase them from others. I want to be eventually be able to make things that are nice enough to sell to others so I could help out with the financial load. I'm excited to fail and grow.
Another huge hope is that I would grow in my desire and love for God. I want to actively take steps in pursuing Him. Since Kaia is waking up a little later nowadays, I'm hoping to wake up the time she used to wake me up to spend time with the Lord before the day truly begins. I want to be able to give Him my best instead of the leftovers. I want to be a student of His Word again. I want to be walking in the Spirit instead of allowing my sinful flesh to take over. I've been praying for the desire to spend time with Him for quite some time now. I feel as though He's slowly chipping away at me and giving me the room to see that I am making my way back. That is extremely exciting. I need Him now more than ever as I tackle the task of being a mom to Kaia. It is a daily battlefield I'm entering. Haha~
Well, 2009, it's been great. I've learned so much and have received so many blessings. Thank you for everything...see you! 2010, come on in! I've been waiting for you. Let's get this started! It's going to be a great one...lots of lessons learned, I'm sure.
